never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
