hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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