Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
