8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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