We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
