My Higher Power is John Stamos
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
