I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
