I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I want to make a zoo with you.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
