Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
