I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
