I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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