I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
