babies were throwing up all over the place
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
