her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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