Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Mom said you looked used
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
