So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she told me i tasted like america
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
