barbara walters just said penis...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
