Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
