What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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