69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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