just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
