i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
