I just saw a hot homeless man
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
