Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
