Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
