In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
