Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
