Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
