Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
