It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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