is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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