i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Im part way to drunk.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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