Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
