I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
