I'm going to jail i love you
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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