he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize