You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
