It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
handjob tips. give me some.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
