she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
