The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
