she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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