Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
