We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
