I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
