I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
