Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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