i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
