I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I can't turn off my feet"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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