do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
