i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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