she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize