I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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