a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
