Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
