i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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