the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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