problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize