4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
