hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
