the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
