i may or may not be watching the land before time
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
