perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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