If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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