when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
