Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
