Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
